


Product Defects

by howshouldipresume



Series: Study Smarter Not Harder: The Bar Collection [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pizza Place, Dialogue Heavy, Ficlet, M/M, torts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:07:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28673451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howshouldipresume/pseuds/howshouldipresume
Summary: Either the pizza oven or Arthur's crush is a liability.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Study Smarter Not Harder: The Bar Collection [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1784845
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	Product Defects

**Author's Note:**

  * For [furloughday](https://archiveofourown.org/users/furloughday/gifts).



> Unfortunately for this collection but fortunately for me, I did in fact pass the bar and never have to study for it again! This addition is for @furloughday whom I promised a fic to if this good news did in fact come to pass. Thank you for your ardent moral support of us long-suffering-takers-of-the-bar.

“How did you manage to burn yourself again, Arthur! I only just finished patching up you up.”

“ _Ouch_ , be careful will you! It’s the damned oven’s fault, it’s defective I’m certain of it. I swear the bastard spits out flaming ashes whenever I come close.”

“Defective. Right. This morning it was the pizza peel’s fault.”

“I told you, there needs to be some kind of warning that the handle heats up to such dangerous levels.”

“Because the fact that it’s metal going into a fire isn’t obvious enough,” Merlin said dryly, pulling Arthur’s arm into his lap for a better look. “You know, somehow Kilgharrah never seems to have these kinds of malfunctions when Gwen is on the schedule.”

“Yes, well, obviously the thing has it out for me,” Arthur replied, refusing to use the nickname the rest of the staff had given the fire-breathing liability **.** “And you could speak to me with a little more respect Merlin. I am your supervisor.”

“Yessir, Mr. Manager sir,” Merlin muttered in a derisive tone at odds with the tender way he rubbed ointment into the red mark. “What were you doing walking past Kilgharrah anyway? You said you were going to help Morgana with the tips.”

“I am capable of multitasking.” Arthur sat up a bit straighter to ward off any implication that he had skived off his responsibilities to loiter around his least favorite employee.

Merlin rolled his eyes and tore open a bandage rather distractingly with his teeth. “Course you are, how else would you manage to be both irritating and rude at the same time?”

“Ha. Ha. Tell me Merlin, what made you choose a career as a pizza chef when you so clearly had a future in comedy?”

“My deep-seated desire to be covered in flour at all times obviously.” Merlin paused where he was placing the bandage and looked up at Arthur from beneath his lashes. “That and I’ve never been big on self-management.”

Arthur cleared his throat self-consciously.

Merlin snapped the kit’s lid shut. “You’re all set. Call the manufacturer and threaten to sue if you must, but in the meantime, stay clear of Kilgharrah. We’re running low on bandages.”

The phone rang, quieting them. Arthur redirected his retort into a challenging stare.

“Thank you for calling Round Table Pizza, no relation to the American franchise, can I take your order?” Gwaine answered from the register. “Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Our knights will have your large sausage-and-pepper pizza out in thirty minutes or less.”

Merlin stood, losing what had become a rather heated staring contest. “Duty calls.”

“Wait.” Merlin turned expectantly. “I was thinking it might be a good idea to investigate whether our competitors’ ovens present any reasonably alternative designs. For a potential lawsuit. Tonight. If you wanted to join me.”

Merlin blinked.

“Are you asking me to dinner?”

“I am.”

Merlin beamed. Arthur let out the breath he was holding.

“I’d love to. Only let’s check out tandoors instead. I could go for a curry.”


End file.
